


A Matter of Personal Pleasure

by newyorktopaloalto



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: Gen, Humor, One Shot, censorship is bad, fanfiction is good
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-21 20:15:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17049839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/newyorktopaloalto/pseuds/newyorktopaloalto
Summary: Starfleet has implemented a controversial new policy in regard to sub-space communications. T'Pol voices concerns from the crew to Captain Archer.





	A Matter of Personal Pleasure

**Author's Note:**

> Remember folks, it's not a strikethrough, it's just more tumblr shenanigans. /s 
> 
> this is the shortest thing I've written in years, geez. 
> 
> Don't own anything and I hope y'all enjoy!

“There is—one more item for the agenda.” T'Pol's expression betrayed nothing, but there was a tightening around her eyelids that Archer could only interpret as her patented 'humans are illogical but here I am, having to cater to their whims' look; he usually only received it twice a meeting, but today must have been special. 

“Okay,” he started slowly, giving his first officer a hand-wave as she seemed to pause on what she actually wanted to say. “Go on, T'Pol.” 

“There has been some,” there was another pause as T'Pol pursed her lips, “ _issues_ regarding Starfleet's newly-implemented policy in regard to sub-space communications.” 

“Would you like to be more specific?” Archer asked, a half-smile on his face as T'Pol finally raised an eyebrow and stared him down. 

“Many of the crew are dismayed to find that their usual supply of pornographic imagery is now inaccessible.” 

Archer paused. 

“I'm sorry?” 

“They do not believe it is your fault, Captain—they merely believe it to a regressive, puritanical response to a few 'higher-ups' who were...” T'Pol blinked, before giving a facial equivalent of a shrug and continuing, “to borrow a phrase from Commander Tucker, 'so far up their own asses they wouldn't even enjoy a good fisting.'” 

“So they want me to...?” 

T'Pol sniffed, a little haughty from Archer's point of view, and pierced him through with a look that told him, unequivocal, that he was an imbecile. 

“Petition Starfleet and ensure that their pornography cannot be removed from the database in the future.” 

“And this makes sense to you?” 

“As I am your first officer, Captain Archer, it is a significant portion of my duties—which you have pointed out on multiple occasions, might I remind you—to make sure that the crew and ship are running at a functional level.” 

“Which means porn.” 

“For most adult humans, yes.” 

Archer nodded, narrowing his eyes at T'Pol who was, to her credit, staring blandly back at him; he hoped that she wouldn't say anything about the upper half of his face going pink. 

“Okay, T'Pol,” he finally stated, watching as her shoulders relaxed by the slightest of increments—he wondered what she had been exposed to in the past week, having to navigate a bunch of healthy, virile humans without sexual outlet.

“I'll talk to Admiral Forrest, see if I can't get the porn back.”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! xoxo 
> 
> feel free to contact me at newyorktopaloalto@mail.com


End file.
